The Oscars, by Bratprince

Although invited to a few Oscar parties last night; because my husband had to work, I declined.  I had my own little Oscar party here at home which basically consisted of me draped over my sofa and getting to finally critique outfits out loud and with some vehemence.  My dogs just stared at me as I talked to the television; perhaps a sign that I should seek therapy. I had simply the most fashionable appetizers...cheese on Ritz crackers; how glamorous!  Aren't you jealous??

Fashion wise I thought the runway was kind of a bore.  My top fashion choices went to Jennifer Hudson who simply looked unbelievable in tangerine (some bitchy fashion person has come out and said the dress didn't offer enough support.  WHAT?  She looked down right amazing and blew such icons as Nicole Kidman out of the water) and of course Anne Hathaway who basically tore up in EVERY single dress she wore...although I could have done without the tux.

I couldn't agree more with the press about James Franco.  Was he on Valium?  Something had to be wrong.  He barely looked alive throughout his time on stage.  When Billy Crystal came out I really thought the producers should have just announced that Franco was a mistake and Crystal would be taking over his duties for the rest of the show.  Franco in Marilyn drag was not shocking at all, but rather silly and pathetic.

I would have won any Oscar polls.  I predicted almost ALL of the winners including documentary and one of the shorts...which I partially watched on the internet.  The Social Network tripped me up on a few awards, but for the most part I was spot on.

I thought Colin Firth was amazingly on point, self deprecating and fun in his speech...although he probably practiced a bit because he knew the award was his far in advance.  I thought Michelle Leo was tacky and hated her outfit.  Was her dress covered in broken glass?  After publishing her own ads. begging the Academy for a win I truly wish she had not  won and the award had gone to Helena Bonham Carter.  However, on my poll sheet I still voted for Leo.  I also voted for Natalie Portman, although secretly I wanted Annette Bening to win.  I think Annette has earned an Oscar a few times over and Natalie will have plenty of time to win later.  Not to mention (you may kill me here) I think Ms. Portman is overrated as an actress.  I admired her performance in 'Closer' but have been critical of every other performance I have ever watched. Her role in 'Black Swan' was intense, but still a bit overblown.  Annette in 'The Kids Are Alright' gave me just the amount of pain/sorrow/joy and understatement I look for in an Oscar performance.

Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE Lena Horne and am sorry she has died, but I missed why she got so much mention over those others that have passed on.  Yes, Lena was a ground breaker, but frankly..enough African American actors have won top honors that I felt a special tribute was a bit redundant. However, Halle Berry looked amazing as always.

All of the best songs were dreadful.  I think they should eliminate that category.  It is SO rare for an Oscar winning song to be even interesting, let alone musical magic.  Randy Newman yet again for a 'Toy Story' song?  Enough is enough.  The song sucked.

Everyone thinks Kirk Douglas was tons of fun.  I disagree.  I thought letting him on the stage was embarrassing and disgraceful.  Obviously he still suffers from his stroke and he made me cringe...over and over.  Note to the Academy...don't let people that can barely function or walk make appearances unless you are giving them a lifetime or special Oscar...and then show tributes to them and keep them quiet.   Just my opinion, but he came across as an ancient letch....and the man is married.  Michael, now that you are feeling better please keep Dad at home!

During a phone call today a friend asked me why Oprah was a presenter.  (He's young) thus I had to remind him that Oprah is an Academy Award nominee.  She looked unbelievable at the Costume Institute Awards in New York a few months back but I thought for the Oscars she looked a bit run down and I just hated her dress.  She obviously wears a corset when in couture and it basically emphasises all of her physical flaws.  Giant everything except her waist.  Not to mention, her makeup is MUCH better on her own show than last night.

Poor Tim Gunn.  I adore him, but he seemed very nervous and rather out of place last night.  I think he should have been a side-line commentator and not talked to the runway crowd.  It would have been much better had he just commented on the fashions at the end.  He is not much of an interviewer.

The green room was not fashionable or even pretty.  I don't care what the commentators said.  It was very pedestrian.  I've seen previous green rooms that really were much better.

The Oscars ALWAYS run long...and frankly it is because they let the winners we don't care about go on and on!!!  Let's get out the old-fashioned hook and just pull them off the stage.  The unending dialogue of "thanks to blah and blah...and blah and blah....BORING)!  Once they play the music folks...get the hell off the stage!  Let's make a rule...thank the crew...but not everybody individually.  Only the supporting actors and lead actors should get a little bit of extra time.  Best sound editing should get about thirty seconds and then push them off the stage with bouncers.  Maybe those 'Oscar hostesses' that walk people off the stage should be female professional wrestlers.

Now just a few last notes:  Celine Dion did not get enough credit for being the only real singer on the show; although I love Gwyneth on 'Glee' I don't think she should sing live; Sandra Bullock looked WAY too drab for presenting the best Oscar for male lead and really seemed like she was constipated; the kids at the end pulled your heartstrings a bit...but frankly I thought it pandering...not to mention....why not just let the real star of the song sing it in retro..Judy Garland? (no, the kids were not even close to better)

Yes, overall...a MOST unimpressive year for the Oscars...however, they are never really that great...we want them to be but they are not.

Let's hope we get someone fun next year!

Yours, Bratprince