I was thinking today about friends. Friends come in so many forms. You have your best friends, your social friends, your acquaintances and your casual "oh hi good to see you" friends. Perhaps some should not even be called friends.
Gary, my husband, frequently calls people he has not seen or spoken to in twenty years "friends". It always sort of irritates me and I can't tell you why.
I don't think that one can have too many "best friends". Best friends take a lot of effort. You have to stay in touch (if they live elsewhere), spend time with them, listen to their ups and downs and be able to commiserate at a moments notice. You genuinely have to feel true deep down love if you have a best friend.
I am blessed with four best friends and for me that is more than enough. Each are very different and only one of them lives in Dallas.
My closest friend is obviously my husband (yes..we are legal in a few states). We have been together for almost 15 years and the truth remains; Gary is still the first person I wish to talk to in the morning and the last person I want to talk to at night. I've had my share of difficulties over the years and Gary has weathered them all. Many times I think to myself that if I didn't have to live with me I would move. Yet Gary views me as better than I am. He can see the very good in me even when the very bad is showing an ugly side. As a couple we have had our ups and downs especially in the job department. It always seems like one of us is working and one of us is not. What is amazing to me is there are no recriminations, no whining. The one working supports the other knowing that the tables could turn at any minute. I love Gary with all my heart and still wonder how I was so lucky to get him.
Following Gary are two very different women; Teresa and Suzy. I have known Suzy since college and we started out absolutely despising each other. Our senior year something radically changed. When I "became myself" which meant coming out of the closet among many other things we started to hang out together. By the middle of the year, Suzy and I were in platonic love and have remained so for almost twenty years. Without Suzy I never would have held up when my mother died. In addition I will never forget "what she did for me". Suzy is sort of an earthy girl. She has two beautiful children which she very professionally home schools. She is a jeans and tshirt kind of gal. I will never forget the day of my mother's funeral. She said she needed a bit of time in the bathroom, disappeared and came out looking like a movie star. Her hair was stunning, her outfit beyond perfection. It was just the thing to do for me. She stood by me throughout the funeral looking beyond gorgeous and helped me deal with the crowds of people. I will love her forever for this. During one of her times of need I was in a very selfish mode and failed her. I will always know that this hurt her, but what I am most proud of is the fact that she forgave me and eventually welcomed me back into her families life. We are as close as ever and I can honestly say that I adore Suzy, her husband and her wonderful children that have given me the honorary title of "Uncle". I love visiting them and always have the best time.
How to describe Teresa (who I call T.) T. has been with me almost as long as Suzy and even though T. is a little older than me, we might as well have been split from the same atom. We think alike, view the world in the same way and understand each other completely. She is one of those very best friends where silence is a warm option. We don't always have to talk. We can just bask in each other's presence. I almost think of her as my sister. I met T. on the dancefloor of a gay club; introduced by a mutual friend. T. loves to dance and so do I. All of a sudden she sort of became my weekly dance partner. From there she became someone to call because I enjoyed talking with her so much. At the time she was separated from her husband and even lived with me for a few months (we had a blast). I always knew that T. was a lesbian, but I knew it before she did. However, a best friend doesn't define another person...thus I waited..and waited...and WAITED. Finally a number of years ago she figured it all out...left the husband and became the person she really wanted to be. I'm thrilled right now because she seems to have found the right partner. In addition, I adore her 15 year old son. From the day he was born he adored me and I him. Today we have a great mentor relationship and I am proud to watch him grow into an independent and charming young man. T. and talk at least weekly and try to see each other at least twice a year. The minute we meet up it is like we have never been apart. This year T., her son and girlfriend are coming to Dallas for Thanksgiving. I am so excited I can barely see straight!! T. is an amazing person and my life would be so much emptier without her. I was truly granted a gift when she wandered into my life and know that we will be there for each other until it is time to move on to the next one.
Finally we come to Terry. What an amazing, witty, intelligent and "current" man. He was my very closest friend in college and for a few years after. Without him I would still be listening to Duran Duran and watching Little House on the Prairie. Terry opened my eyes to new music, film, dance....you name it. Terry is listed for a very important reason. Because of a VERY stupid thing I did many, many years ago...I lost him as a friend. I never forgot him and thought of him often, but felt it best to just leave him be. Through the "magic of Facebook" we reconnected last year. Since then I have visited him once and he has come to Dallas. He is the same wonderful person and within seconds of seeing him again...all was forgotten and our friendship started right where it left off. Terry has great importance to me because he taught me valuable lessons. 1:) Forgiveness is possible and 2:) Love never really dies. A spark always remains and if you are willing to own up to your part..fan the flames a bit...you can always make amends and start over. I love having Terry back in my life and am grateful for him everyday. Our phone conversations end up in riots of laughter. He "gets" my humor and I get his. I love him to death and thank the powers that be that he is back and an integral part of my life.
In addition to these people, I have so many others that enrich, charm and make life better for me. I am so lucky to have people that care, compliment, challenge and believe in me.
Life is the best with good friends. The message for today is CALL someone. Tell someone how important they are. Tell them that you love them. Tell them how wonderful they make your life. I am truly blessed by my friends and I love you all.
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