Recently his boss promoted him from "manager" to "general manager" of the restaurant he works in. The owner has always held the title of general manager, but Gary has changed, added and run the restaurant so well that the owner thought Gary deserved the spot, thus giving the owner a little more time off. I knew before Gary did because the restaurant is a P.R. client of mine. In addition, the restaurant gave Gary a raise of sorts. He now participates in the profits and the latest check he brought home made my eyes pop!
Gary and I have been together for almost 17 years (eat that heterosexual marriage statistics). We have been officially married in California for almost two years. After ALL this time you would think we would be tired of each other, but the opposite is true. Gary is still the first person I want to talk to when the day starts and the last person when the day ends.
Perhaps the fact that we work such different schedules is part of our longevity...although many couples break up because they don't get enough time together. Gary and I are both deeply introspective people and both of us need time apart to do as we please, think and regroup.
Does the "fairy tale" exist in a VERY long term marriage or partnership? I think not. I do not get all misty eyed, nor does my heart start pounding in my chest anymore when Gary walks into the room. I know he would say the same. There have been dozens of times when one or the other of us thought secretly of running away and finding a "real" Prince Charming. However, both of us are intelligent enough to know that Prince Charming doesn't exist and never will. We found our Charmings almost two decades ago.
So, what is the glue that binds long term couples? In my opinion the first thing is to understand that a fight or disagreement is not something that must go on forever. SOMEBODY...anybody eventually needs to apologize even if you sort of don't mean it. History is also incredibly important. I know so many people that have broken up because they forgot just that; history. Gary knows me. I know him. We have years and years of shared experiences and I simply cannot imagine walking away from that. We have struggled through job loss, health issues (mine), each putting a hand on a pet as they were put to sleep, power struggles over the most tiny of things (I usually win those), etc. I could go on and on but find it important to keep a lot of our personal business private.
With Gary I finally have someone that I "just can't get rid of". What a relief. When your own father doesn't speak to you and your beloved mother is dead...plus having no siblings...you can feel rather alone. Occasionally I do feel that way, but....always as those feelings surface along comes Gary. In addition, his family treats me like the husband that I am to Gary....which is a real blessing.
Yours, Bratprince
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