Scientists Unveil New and Improved Velociraptor Cousin

Astute dino-observers know that Velociraptors actually weren't as scary as Steven Spielberg and Jurassic Park would have you believe. In real life, the dinosaur was the size of a turkey and was probably covered with feathers; comedian Dan Telfer calls it "the Tonya Harding of the dinosaur kingdom." What an image problem! Fortunately, dino scientists have unveiled a newer, tougher dinosaur cousin to burnish Velociraptor's flagging brand. Introducing: Baulor bondoc!