Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Sigh....I think it's time, by Bratprince

Although not as mentioned as our cat, Astrid....our dog Roman (full name, Romanov Alexis) is slowly dying.  Roman was the love of Gary's life...probably over me.  Roman is almost 18 and sadly I think it may be time to let him go.

For gay people without children, our pets take that place.  We lavish attention on them and fully adore them as members of our family.  Roman was one of Gary's first gifts to me.  I have loved him so much as has Gary.

Roman is now deaf...he almost went blind...is slowly slipping into dementia...and now has a foot that bleeds for no reason (this started yesterday...it's all wrapped up in gauze....with me hoping it will get better).  He has spent the whole day on his bed and in fact I had to bring up his food.  He ate it lying down.

This is particularly hard on Gary and me due to the fact that we just lost our 19 year old cat, Karma.

Still...I can't help but think of his quality of life.  I keep telling myself because he gets excited around dinner time that he is still happy....but it is slowly dawning on me that my hopes may be unfounded.

I talked to Gary by phone today and told him that I think it is time and Gary agrees and says he is ready.  I am going to watch him carefully this evening, but a vet appointment may be coming. 

I am worried about him and quite sad.  Saying goodbye will be very difficult.  Still, I will be with him when he goes and I have decided that I don't want him cremated as we have done with other pets.  If it is necessary to put him down, I want to bring him home and bury him in my rose garden.  Knowing that he will "live on" in my roses is a comfort to me.  Karma died in my arms at home and I buried her also in the rose garden.

Sigh, life with pets is the ultimate joy and eventually the ultimate sorrow.

Roman has been a dear friend and family.  Say a little prayer for him.  Perhaps his foot will get better, but if not we will let him go with love.

Yours, Bratprince

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